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About Deviant Member ---19/Male/United States Groups :iconlegendsofdawne: LegendsOfDawne
"legends are a start...&amp
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Silliness by ThatNightFury
Silliness
Came across these funny little things at the store. I have no idea what they are, but I know I'd never eat one because I wouldn't be able to stop laughing. They are seriously the silliest things I have ever seen and I always get this instant grin when I look at em.

So there's me at the bottom trying to imitate.

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Done in only FOUR HOURS! RECORD TIME for me!
Though I did cheat by tracing over a screenshot from the movie, but WHATEVER! I'M HAPPY!

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Comments are appreciated more than you realize. ^^
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Messy Paint? by ThatNightFury
Messy Paint?
So I was in my new color theory class in college the other day and we had this pallet paper with a TON of wasted paint that we were gonna throw away. (It was the instructor's fault, she poured out too much! XD) I felt bad for having so much go to waste so I did what any competent person would have and took the paintbrush and just... smeared the hell out of everything. After a second or two, I realized that it looked freakin' AWESOME... and then decided to write my name in it.

I didn't save the original, unfortunately. With as much paint as there was, it would have taken at least three or four days to dry completely, so I ended up having to toss it... but if there's one thing I've learned, it's that every little thing is precious... so I made sure to take a few quick pictures.
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Here's what happened:

 I woke up so sad one morning for no reason that I started crying, and then for some reason deleted my best friends as well as a whole bunch of others. About two thirds of my contacts in a few minutes... gone.

After about an hour, Zaven, one of the ones I kept, is still talking to me and then tells me that Nighty is very upset...

at that point, I realize my mistake and get Nighty and everyone else back... but Nighty immediately unloads all this hurtful wrath on me.

Me deleting him broke his heart.

I really didn't think it was that big a deal, but, I was oh-so-wrong. It was bigger than I ever could have possibly imagined.

With him now extremely upset, things were never the same. He didn't trust me and he absolutely did not believe me anymore when I said I loved him, even though I actually did, and still do. I still love all three of you.

Jump forward to about a week ago, and after I FINALLY get him to talk after a bit of a silent period, he has now turned from upset, to downright hateful.

My heart broke for the first time when I realized that I really just lost one of my best friends in the whole wide world.

So I run, now upset, to someone who I knew would understand and care, Vico.

The only thing I get from him after sending a lot of pleading messages is:
"Just delete me."

My heart breaks for a second time.

Suddenly this is spreading like wildfire and I just lost another best friend.

So I run to Zaven. I KNOW he's gonna understand. More than Nighty and Vico COMBINED, he has listened to me and been there for me. Zaven is the most logical and understanding of the bunch.

But he's caught the bug too.

However, he is the most rational and understanding... and by the end of the day, he and I have made up and are talking happily.

Forward to the next day and I start struggling with my emotions and run to Zaven for help. He and I made up. We should be good! ^^

So I go to him and get no reply.

I continue for a bit, not even being a bother...

but SUDDENLY Zaven answers with "Go to somebody else," "We can't be contacts anymore."

Heart snaps again... third time.

I panic.

My entire world is collapsing around me and I'm finally told why.

Nightclaw had showed them a chat log of some terrible things I said to him while I was venting about how I was planning to leave everyone because I didn't feel loved anymore.

The really terrible thing that happened with Zaven is that he drops this bombshell on me the DAY after we made up and had happy conversation! 

Absolutely in a panic, raining tears, I try desperately to keep Zaven. I am screaming constantly at him WHY WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! WE WERE DOING SO WELL! WHAT HAPPENED?! PLEASE TELL ME!

And after twenty+ messages of me screaming and pleading, all Zaven says is "I need you to be strong."

Just before he clicks the delete button, he says finally "Please be safe..."

And I respond with "I won't."

And then I beat him to the delete button. 

At this point, I don't care if I caused him to panic. Nothing I could have said or done would have been able to hurt him even an infinitesimally small fraction of the amount he was doing to me.

I actually hope I made him panic.

I'll never know.

But now I don't care.

With this final blow to me, I feel that it's time to take action and stop this from spreading any further. 

So I wrote a journal explaining things and really just try to defend myself, hoping that maybe they'll see that the information given to them was wrong and that they'll accept me back. But, of course, nothing happens.

Later, Nightclaw comes and asks me to take it down and I did. I did as he wished because, unlike seemingly everyone else, I still cared about other's feelings.

For the rest of the day, I spend all my time trying to see if I can get through to Vico. For some reason, I'm still under the impression that he and I are salvageable.

But after waiting one or two days, for any sign of him, I notice that he's not even watching me anymore.

With the fate of me and my former friends now sealed, I give up and then write my "Broken" journal.

No more words are exchanged any more and here I am today, trying to recover.

I actually had a very good day today, but every night when I calm, I sink back down again, and every morning I wake up and smile until my memory kicks in and I remember everything that happened... all over again. 

Every morning, I'm woken up by that punch in the head that makes me hate myself.

Everything is my fault and I'm honestly sorry that I'm still alive.
  • Mood: Lonely
My heart is broken.

I wish I could kill myself, I really, really do. 

I know that deleting people on Skype is bad, and I shouldn't have done that... but what has happened as a result I hope no one else ever has to go through.

I lost three of my best friends in the whole wide world in just two days. Though, I now know for a fact that the relationships have been deteriorating for a while. I just.... hoped that I was wrong. 

I thought I knew what depression was...
Well I was severely wrong...
because... /now/ I do.

Before, I was just a little sad, but there were happy days in between.

Now, not a single moment goes by in which I don't want to bawl my eyes out.

Like right now. It's four fifty-three AM and there's lightning outside my window for the first time in many many years. I normally would have been fascinated! I've always wanted lightning to strike this close! But... all that happens now is...   more thoughts of suicide. More heartache.

Heartache. That's another thing...

I always thought that was just a little thing someone made up a long time ago to express their sadness...

I didn't realize there could actually be a physical pain in your chest. But here it is... real heartache.

...

For the one who left me with "Be strong..." guess what? I was. I didn't end up drinking that bleach. But I really wish I did, because you and the other two have now left me to deal with the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life.

You three were the closest, dearest friends to me, and now you have abandoned me forever.

Well I hope you're happy. I really do.

Because I never will be.
  • Mood: Pain

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ThatNightFury
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United States
A small night fury that can do a few tricks and stuff. Nothing really special.


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:iconswiftblue-fox:
SwiftBlue-Fox Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch man!
Reply
:iconthatnightfury:
ThatNightFury Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014
But of course! ^^
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:iconswiftblue-fox:
SwiftBlue-Fox Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:aww: Your Current webcam... Silly computer! not working!
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:iconthatnightfury:
ThatNightFury Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014
PFF-! I didn't even remember I had that! XDD

Oh, no, the computer's working just fine, that's just how I usually am when I'm on the computer! 

Also, note the book flying in from behind the shot. XD
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(1 Reply)
:iconhunter12396:
Hunter12396 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the favs ^^
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